Jokes and Doctors

There are hundreds, perhaps even thousands of jokes about the medical profession. Here are two of them.

I

A businessman, who always tried to pay as little as possible for what he needed, felt ill one day. He decided to go to a doctor and asked a friend to recommend one.

“Dr. Smith has a good reputation,” the friend told them.

“Is he expensive?” the businessman asked.

“Yes and no. He charges five hundred dollars for the first visit, but only twenty-five dollars for each visit after that.”

“That seems reasonable,” the businessman said, and went to visit Dr. Smith. As he walked into the consulting room, he said, “Well, here I am again, doctor,” and put twenty-five dollars on the table.

The doctor looked at him carefully for a moment, then smiled and put the money into the drawer of his desk. “Thanks you,” he said, “and what can I do for you today?”

“Examine me, of course,” the businessman said, “and tell me what’s wrong with me.”

“Oh, there’s no need for me to examine you again,” the doctor said. “Just continue taking the medicine I prescribed for you when you came to see me last time.”

II

Another doctor had a son who qualified as a doctor himself, and then joined his father in partnership. Shortly afterwards, his father decided to have a holiday, and he left his son to look after all his patients. When he returned from the holiday, he asked his son if anything had happened.

“Well, yes, Dad,” the son said, feeling very proud of himself. “You remember Mrs. Jones, the lady whose back pains you’ve been treating for twenty years. Well, I’ve cured them.”

“I see,” replied his father, not very pleased. “Mrs. Janes’s back pains paid for your university fees. I was hoping they’d pay for your new car as well”

Vocabulary:

l   joke[gYch](n.)玩笑,戲謔;無需認真對待的事情;輕鬆的事;容易的事

l   medical[tmUgahx](a.)醫學的;醫術的;醫療的;內科的

l   profession[dqQtiUXQn](n.)職業

l   recommend[recommended-recommended-recommending][uqUhQtmUng](v.)推薦,介紹

l   reputation[uqUdsQtfTXQn](n.)名譽,名聲;好名聲,聲望;信譽

l   charge[charged-charged-charging][fXFqgY](v.)索價;收費

l   consulting room診察室

l   consult[hQntkSpf](vt.)找(醫生)看病;請教

l   prescribe[dqatkhqAae](v.)開(藥方),為...開(藥方);囑咐

l   qualify[qualified-qualified-qualifying][thrFpQuiAa](v.)取得資格;具備合格條件

l   partnership[tdFqfnRuXad](n.)合夥(或合作)關係;合資公司,合夥公司

l   shortly afterwards不久之後

l   patient[tdTXQnf](n.)病人(a.)有耐心的,能忍受的,能容忍的

l   proud[dqANg](a.)自豪的,得意的;驕傲的,有自尊心的

l   treat[treated-treated-treating][fq`f](vt.)醫療,治療

l   cure[cured-cured-curing][hsNq](v.n.)治癒；治療

l   pain[dTn](n.)(身體特定部位的)疼痛;痛;痛苦

l   pay for為了得到...而付錢;因...而受到懲罰; 為...付出代價

l   as well一般用於句尾, 相當於 too; 也;同樣地;還不如